tryin to get back to my formal self...MOTIVATION and DETERMINATION!!!!

today was the last day of mornin row as we r havin race dis weekend, had awhile of mens team, den few full sets for mixed team, rite after rowin , chiong to stadium to bath so i can be able to reached admiralty on time for my car practical lesson...hmm...will take as much lesson as possible ofcos when i still be able to afford thou...hmm...

after driving at 10am, went down to sch to hav lunch wit ding, althou he jus finish his break at around 10, he still meet me for lunch at around 10:30am...mid way, saw benny ang, so accompanied him awhile until around 11plus am...so went to ding's lab to slack till 1pm for our lesson...SEMICONDUCTOR TECH...im screwed, i cant even last for an hr, n im alrdy feeling slpy after 15mins of class..n god noes wat happen to me...i slept thru the class till lesson ended..sian...on 2hrs of lesson per day, i cant even stay focus...n i end up slpin thru it..damn...

after class at around 2.45pm, acc ding's to canteen agn, his havin his teabreak...saw glen and greg..so joined them until 3plus pm, when ding got seperated wit us as his havin NE class...so i join the 2 guys to Mac as they r havin like snacks, such as drink n ice cream, ofcos, since im dietin, i jus watch them eat...haha.. HAV TO CONTROL!!! 26 Nov is only an blink of an eye nia..so hav to bite on DWAYNE!!!!

hmm...so slack until 4pm before decidin to check out sch's gym, but guess wat agn??bodywatch gym is packed wit ppl, n the gym n full...so wanted to go to clubroom gym, but only to hear other teammates says the mgmt staff doesnt wan to open the gym for us as they say we r not properly attired, so they will not open for us to use, n god noes when will they allow the gym to be open..damn the sch mgmt team...

so end up went to cck gym to did some light self trainins, well..as i can c tat when im yr 1-2 im havin my selftrainin in a way tat all self train r MUSCULAR STRENGTH TRAINING, n who cares even if there's race in the upcomin week..i'll still carry on wit my own selftrain, i will be like "its nv enough, n i hav to go on n on n on"....tryin to jog every single day to burn tat extra calories n burn tat fats around my tummy...

anyway, exercise tat i did today at the cck gym :(BACK exercises)
weight before:81.8kg
weight after:80.7kg
1)Reverse Lats Pulldown(10reps)-100lbs,120,130
2)Dumbbell Deadlifts(10reps)-25kg x 3sets
3)One Arm Row(15reps)-25kg x 3sets
4)Lats Pulldown(10reps)-120lbs,130,140
5)Barbell Bendover Row(15reps)-20kg,25,30
6)Wide Cable Row(10reps)-55kg,59,64
7)Leg raises-20reps x 3sets
8)Abdominals(20reps)-68kg,73,77
9)Treadmill(jog)-2.4km, 11:13mins, 194kcals

im tryin to get back my trainin feel frm yr 1-2...i wan to be wat dear has said before "giant"...rather den "fatty"....hmm...well...jus when i was trainin, salled, cine NUM ic called me n asked me whr m i, n wat time alrdy still haven report to work...it was around 5:30pm by den...i was like puzzled, cos i rmb i told taufiq, scheduler, tat dis week im havin race, so i wont wanna work dis week...but ended up he activate me...after awhile, taufiq called me, n qns me here n there, sayin as thou as it's my fault not remindin him..i was like " huh?? i did msg before, but u dint reply me", den he went silent..so he replied sayin bo bian, he hav to cover me le..i was feelin abit pissed, but wat i can do...soft hearted, so i told him i can help him, only tat i'll reached around 7:30-8pm..he says okay n appreciated...i was like, damn, "im plannin to go for a 5km jog, there he ruined my plan"...so went to work, reached around 8pm..all the way until 9.45pm, a bunch of cust came in n delay our closin time till kinda late...

felt so so so sorry tat i couldnt skype wit my dear dear dearest jaslyn agn...hate it when we cant skype when its alrdy so diff to msg as each msg cost a bomb to her...hmm..went home quite late, den dear was like msgin me sayin she wont be able to wait for me to reach home, as she's feelin very tired alrdy..i was like " there blew my chance of chattin wit her agn"...haiz...well..in her facebook comment, she was like commentin abt "i feel so lost out of sudden.."i feel so lost out of sudden.."...is it referin to us??as in...not able to chat...feel tat i dun tink its important to chat wit her, when she think it is??...no way...if ur readin dis, n i noe u will...ofcos not, dun feel tat...i'll feel hurt when u say such a sentence tat bring down ur mood, wat i can do??i cant do anythin as ur so damn far away frm me...all i can say, thr will be bound to feel tat we r so far apart...but we hav to bite on n hav a very strong relationship...we canot giv up, thinkin other party is doin things u dun like n stuff like tat...maybe u wont feel dis way, but sometimes, i do...but i've been constantly remindin myself, im thinkin too much tat u will play me out..ive been tellin myself, "jas is a good gal, n for my sake, she'll take good care of herself, control herself, n be bitin on wit me till the day she comes back"...so if ur feelin the same way, bite on tgt okay???...cos i wont giv up..haha..so sentimental..hmm..but tats how i feel thou..haha..

well well...everything gotta end someway, be it good or bad...
say for instant, dis post...wahaha..
i shall end here short n sweet...tml prog will be mornin self train at the gym, 5km jog, class start at 3-5pm...n hav race briefin at 6.30pm...n oso to recieve comp tee...hope everythin will end well..so i can be on time to skype wit u...
last but not least...u noe tat i love u, i miss u..but im not sayin it out, becos i dun wan it to be too numb when im like constantly tellin u i love n miss u...which end of the day, there's no power behind the words...so..
hav a nice slp..n gdnite my dear...muacks...